New Year, Same Me

Today was weigh in day for me this week at Weight Watchers. I was pretty sure I would have gained some from last week because I wanted to make sure I was really lucky and would get a lot of money this year. To my surprise, I was down two pounds! I was really shocked at the scale tonight but I am patting myself on the back because I am trying this time. I am being mindful of my portions (especially the bad food). I am determined to make it click this time.

At the meeting tonight was pretty much a discussion about the new Freestyle program that came out last month right after Thanksgiving. I have been playing around with the new program over the holidays. I have honestly been trying to cheat the system by eating mostly zero point foods, unfortunately they still have calories. Eating four or five eggs a day will add up on the scale for me. I am rethinking how to approach the program. Instead of trying to cheat the system, I am embracing it. I am focusing on the foods that fill me up and keep me satisfied longer. When I go back to work I will bring a bag of baby carrots, a banana and an apple to each for my snacks. I typically will grab a 5 point bag of chips but I know I can do better than that! I might bring a string cheese to eat too so that I am getting a good combination of veggies/fruit and protein.

Freestyle is going to be my lifestyle. I don't want to even think of this as a diet, because it isn't. I can eat anything I want to have as long as I track it. Whether I track it or not, if I ate it I'm pretty sure it shows up on the scale every time! Focusing this week on entering everything into my tracker. I want to start the year of on the right foot!

Weight: 212.6 lbs.

It has been a while...SORRY!

Hello my shorties!

Where do I begin? I am on a weight loss journey, have been for just over a year (this time). I seem to have gotten off track with this blog but honestly you haven't missed much. I have not been in the right mindset, even with the last blog post that share all my hopes for the following month. I tanked so fast in September. All my challenges I set for myself were just too high for this shorty. Telling myself I can not have any soda made me crave it that much more. Honestly, I know I can give it up but I need at least two weeks to deal with the recovery of just stopping. It is just like getting over any kind of addiction. I want to be able to stay at home, not have to substitute 6 classes of students when I know I am going to feel so miserable. So making sure your goals, simple, measurable, achievable, realistic, and timely was not what happened for me in September. 

Let's pretend October didn't happen either. It was my birthday month, ate a lot of yummy food, yadda yadda ya....it is over! 

Let's start this whole thing over this month. I am going  to be focusing back to basics. I was to aim to get blue dots for at least 20 days this month. So far I have 1, nearly there! I also will be keeping in contact with my girls from the meeting in our group chat. We have some of the best laughs between us about the program and stuff! 

Getting back into the routine

For the past year and a half I have been in a state of mindlessness. Mindless in my eating, mindless in my habits, mindless in most aspects of my life. I feel like I am starting to get to a point where the mindlessness is starting to wear me down where I have to make a decision. Do I want to continue down this path that will lead to worse things or do I want to do something about it and change my ways? Today I want to do something about it and change my ways. I say today because I am still emotional and worry my choice might change daily.

"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results." Albert Einstein was right on the money with this quote.  I have been in a cycle of insanity for the past two years or so. I want to lose weight, tone my muscles, and enjoy my time with my son but I just keep doing the same things day in and day out. The insanity of it all is bearing down on me and I am starting to realize how miserable I actually am. I am still not good with cardio, I have loved running and want to get better, faster, and stronger. I am strong but not strong enough for my personal preference. I am overweight for my height, immensely, and I've wanted to change that for the last 6 years or so. I want to have more children, with a happy and healthy pregnancy.

I am starting a challenge in September that is really going to test my ability to stay determined and not let something make me stray from my goals. I am doing NO SODA SEPTEMBER and it is going to be incredibly hard. I drink Diet Coke like it is water so giving it up completely for a month is really going to test myself. Especially since Diet Coke is freely available in my work environment, I buy the big packs from Costco so that I may never run out at home. I think my tea intake will be going up, or my coffee intake. I am positive my water intake is going to sky rocket for the month (and hopefully ever after).

Going back to the gym is going to be tough in the beginning but once I have my routine again it will be easy as pie. For many the gym is a place of pain and torture, but for me it is a place of joy, empowerment, and change. The only struggle I have is getting to the gym because if I want to go without having to depend on someone to watch my son I going in a 4:00 am. I don't want to pay extra for the childcare just to be on a time crunch too. I want to go when I can and get a good workout for myself in. Surprisingly there are about 20 people in the gym when I get there at 4 am. Some of them are becoming acquaintances who check on me when I haven't been there for a while. Some will become friends because we share a goal of getting strong.

The gym does not have to be this place where we are judged by others. Look around next time, who is actually looking back at you and who is crushing their own workout? Exactly, everyone is focused on their own workouts to honestly be judging you on the treadmill for 20 minutes. If you think you are being judged because you could only do 20 minutes, you aren't. You are lapping those people who are sitting on the couch who can't get themselves to the gym. You are pushing harder than you ever have and next week you will be able to kick it up to 30 minutes!

Set Your Course

Weight Watchers is changing things up again and I am so excited to be apart of it! I don't thing anything within the program that we all know and love is going to change but things are changing slightly.  For example, we have new trackers that are called My Success Story. It is focusing on the positive (success) instead of just the numbers. They are still weighing you (obviously!) and putting your weight in your book, the guts of the book look a little different.

First the book has us write out why we are here. It is in a place that we can view often if we carry our trackers with us all the time. next it asks for our ultimate goal weight. Don't worry if you are afraid to focus on that end number right now, there is a box to check if you choose that option. Below that is a place to write things that you like to do for some "me time" when your schedule is completely free.

The booklet still has 16 weeks in it but the focus is on 4 weeks at a time. We can write in a monthly goal, so that we are keeping our goals small, specific and sustainable. We also check off the emoji of how our week went before we jump on the scale. It is nice to see that we might have had a really bad week but the scale actually goes down or vice versa. There is also room to write down what activity you want to focus on for your "me time".

The back of the book holds some pretty neat parts to creating your success story. There is a paragraph written out with some words missing. It is laid out like a mad lib, where you fill in the blanks. I can't until the 16 weeks and I can fill that in. It will be interesting to see how those words change every 16 weeks or so. There is also a place for your 5 lb. stickers and some notes on looking back on your journey. The next two pages are a wall of bravo stickers because damn those things are amazing. there are lines to describe why you got the bravo sticker. Our leader gives them to us for habit changes and I am raking up those stickers! The next thing is measurements so that you can track your progress in other ways, not just the scale!

This new book is helping us set our own course in our journey to our success in weight loss. The definition of the word success is the favorable or prosperous termination of attempts or endeavors; the accomplishment of one's goals. That is one definition but everyone defines it differently based on your goals. I have incredible trouble keeping track of my food intake so when I do track all day (and correctly) I am pretty proud of myself for that success. On the other hand, tracking might come easy to my neighbor at the meeting but getting a walk in is hard. When they do get up and go they have achieved their own success. That is the great thing about individuality. No two are alike. It is pretty awesome.

August Wrap-Up

August was a really sad month for me in reading because I only read 2 books. I feel like a very pitiful reader because of that but honestly I am getting over that. I read 2 books, that is more than a lot of people in my life.

The first book I read was Howl's Moving Castle. It was something I have wanted to read ever since I saw a video on Youtube. Luckily my younger cousin had a copy and let me borrow it. I really enjoyed the novel. I read it with the knowledge that I would immediately watch the film, which I did.

The other book I read this month was The Martian which I absolutely loved. I couldn't put this book down and I was enthralled the entire time I was reading it. I plan to write a review but I am still trying to wrap my head around my thoughts for it. It is coming though so don't worry.

I think September will be a pretty solid month for reading (I already know it is).

[REVIEW] To All the Boys I've Loved Before by Jenny Han

Book Title: To All the Boys I've Loved Before

Author: Jenny Han
Series: To All the Boys I've Loved Before
Genre: Young Adult, contemporary, romance, chick lit

Lara Jean keeps her love letters in a hatbox her mother gave her. One for every boy she's ever loved. When she writes, she can pour out her heart and soul and say all the things she would never say in real life, because her letters are for her eyes only. Until the day her secret letters are mailed, and suddenly Lara Jean's love life goes from imaginary to out of control...

What's Your Pleasure?

Something at our Weight Watchers meetings we will cover a nonfood related topic because there are other ways to make us healthy other than food. July 6th's meeting was all about finding our pleasure in nonfood ways. We are working to start taking care of ourselves to make us happy. We knot that happy people make healthier decisions. This week was a take to find something to ourselves. Sometimes we forget that we need to take five minutes. A lot of the time responsibilities will get in the way or cause us to forget about ourselves. What would you do if you had five or ten minutes of free time? I read my books at any free moment that I can grab. I'm currently in the process of fixing up a house for us to move into. Right now a lot of my time that I would spend reading is either spent at the house fixing something or at home making a list of things that need to be done at the new house. It is not as pleasurable as I thought it would be. Once the house is finished and we move it the pleasure of my hard work will begin. We were asked to make room in our days for those little moments. I was able to identify my pleasures and I was even able to do some of them. My favorite thing to do right now is make stickers for my planner. I am one of those weird people that has a paper planner and I fill it with stickers and sorts. I like to use it as a scrapbook later for how the year went for us. I am going to continue to find these little moments are really make the most of them. I know that I need to take better care of myself so that I can truly provide for my family.

Overcoming Time Bandits

Last week at Weight Watchers we discussed ways of how to outsmart our time bandits. Time bandits are something that typically happen daily and if we are just take a few extra minutes in the day to be mindful of where out time is going we are beat the time bandits. I know during the summer I struggle the most with managing my time because i have a four year old who doesn't really understand that mommy needs five or ten minutes to just close her eyes and think. The first thing we focused on was identifying our own time bandits. The challenge for the week was the identify and change our time bandits. Many common culprits are channel surfing, the internet in general, checking email, Facebook, or other social medias, playing video games, and checking the news. My main culprit is the internet. I can get lost on Facebook, Youtube, and Reddit. The next thing to do is eliminate the time bandit. For me that would be setting a timer for me to be online and say, "When I finish this, I get so much time online before I should start this." It just takes a little more time for you to be aware that you should be doing something else. Once you start to recognize those time bandits and you are able to change them, it will slowly become a habit. A habit that will turn into something so easy you will never understand why you didn't do it all along.

Dear Allie | vol. 18

You are amazing. You just spent four days at the beach with your mother-in-law. You enjoyed the time at the beach, building sandcastles with your son, and even swimming in the ocean. Now that you have signed up for the Tallahassee Half Marathon you are going to have to be very diligent with your training runs and sacrifice a few things. I know that you are worried about the route for the race but you are capable of finishing it. You ran the same race in 2013 and finished in 3 hours and 45 minutes or so. Yes, the route for the race is going to be very hilly but you have 28 weeks to train for this race. You have a 20 week training program that you are beginning this week so you will be prepared for the race. It will also be nice because you will have at least 2 friends running the race with you. Cheer up about this. You will start to love running and then you will eventually want to run the race every year, maybe one day you will decide to train and run the full marathon. Who knows, the possibilities are endless for you.

Friday Reads | 13

This Friday I am reading Howl's Moving Castle. I was told I had to read this book by my 16 year old cousin. She is pushy when it comes to books I need to read. I am excited to try and finish it this weekend. If I do finish that book I plan to start either Postal Service by Terry Pratchett or Outlander. I honestly haven't decided yet!