For the past year and a half I have been in a state of mindlessness. Mindless in my eating, mindless in my habits, mindless in most aspects of my life. I feel like I am starting to get to a point where the mindlessness is starting to wear me down where I have to make a decision. Do I want to continue down this path that will lead to worse things or do I want to do something about it and change my ways? Today I want to do something about it and change my ways. I say today because I am still emotional and worry my choice might change daily.
"Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results." Albert Einstein was right on the money with this quote. I have been in a cycle of insanity for the past two years or so. I want to lose weight, tone my muscles, and enjoy my time with my son but I just keep doing the same things day in and day out. The insanity of it all is bearing down on me and I am starting to realize how miserable I actually am. I am still not good with cardio, I have loved running and want to get better, faster, and stronger. I am strong but not strong enough for my personal preference. I am overweight for my height, immensely, and I've wanted to change that for the last 6 years or so. I want to have more children, with a happy and healthy pregnancy.
I am starting a challenge in September that is really going to test my ability to stay determined and not let something make me stray from my goals. I am doing NO SODA SEPTEMBER and it is going to be incredibly hard. I drink Diet Coke like it is water so giving it up completely for a month is really going to test myself. Especially since Diet Coke is freely available in my work environment, I buy the big packs from Costco so that I may never run out at home. I think my tea intake will be going up, or my coffee intake. I am positive my water intake is going to sky rocket for the month (and hopefully ever after).
Going back to the gym is going to be tough in the beginning but once I have my routine again it will be easy as pie. For many the gym is a place of pain and torture, but for me it is a place of joy, empowerment, and change. The only struggle I have is getting to the gym because if I want to go without having to depend on someone to watch my son I going in a 4:00 am. I don't want to pay extra for the childcare just to be on a time crunch too. I want to go when I can and get a good workout for myself in. Surprisingly there are about 20 people in the gym when I get there at 4 am. Some of them are becoming acquaintances who check on me when I haven't been there for a while. Some will become friends because we share a goal of getting strong.
The gym does not have to be this place where we are judged by others. Look around next time, who is actually looking back at you and who is crushing their own workout? Exactly, everyone is focused on their own workouts to honestly be judging you on the treadmill for 20 minutes. If you think you are being judged because you could only do 20 minutes, you aren't. You are lapping those people who are sitting on the couch who can't get themselves to the gym. You are pushing harder than you ever have and next week you will be able to kick it up to 30 minutes!
